Love Hurts
by WorthlessPleasure
Summary: On Valentine's Day, Logan remembers his rocky relationship with Kendall. Rated M for drug use, language, and adult themes.
1. Looking Back

**A/N: Hey. Like I said on my profile, the two other stories I have up are discontinued. I might come back to Emotions later, but the other one's a lost cause…Anyway, so this story is based on a song I wrote a while ago, and I haven't decided if I'm gonna put it in here yet. It's a Kogan, and it's rated M for a reason. First chapter is tame, but after that it lives up to its rating. You've been warned. Now, onto the story.**

_**Love Hurts**_

_**Chapter 1: Looking Back**_

**February 14, 2011**

Logan awoke with a start. He'd had the nightmare again. This was the fourth night in a row he had to relive one of the worst days of his life. He shuddered. Suddenly realizing it was still dark, he glanced at his clock. 4:25 am. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't get back to sleep. He slowly climbed out of bed and quietly opened the door, careful not to disturb anyone in the apartment as he walked to the kitchen. He walked straight to the fridge, then paused. He was looking at the calendar. February 14th. Valentine's Day. He sighed, the memory of his dream flooding back. He sighed, remembering every detail of what happened over the last few months. He walked to the couch, reminiscing in the happiest and saddest times of his life. It all started about 8 months ago…

**A/N: and that's the first chapter. I know it's short, but I can promise this is the only one. Anyway, I'm going to finish the next chapter. It should be up by Monday. Until then, PEACE.**


	2. Confessions

**I'm feeling happy. This story is already so popular, and it hasn't been up for very long. Here's chapter 2, a lot earlier than I expected.**

_**Chapter 2: Confessions**_

**June 21, 2010**

Logan awoke suddenly. He was panting heavily and he was sweating. He had another dream. Another _Kendall_ dream. He stood up and looked down. Even if he knew it was a wet dream, seeing his cum-stained pajamas shocked him. He looked over at Kendall. His roommate was facing away from him, and was obviously still asleep. Logan quickly, but quietly, grabbed some clothes from the closet and walked to the bathroom. After showering and dressing, he walked back into his room to find Kendall without his shirt. He quickly walked to his bed on the other side of the room. He was glad his hormones decided to be kind to him. He knew his jeans wouldn't hide an erection well, and he didn't want to have to hide it himself. The thought of Kendall seeing him like that made him shudder.

"Logan?"

Logan snapped out of his thoughts. Kendall was fully dressed and was now standing in front of him, waving a hand in front of his face.

"Dude, are you okay? You've been standing there for like five minutes. What's up?"

"Huh? Oh, um…nothing. I was just…thinking."

Kendall seemed to accept that answer and walked out of the room. Logan sighed and watched him leave. After he was gone, Logan stood there and collected his thoughts. After a few moments, he followed Kendall.

Mrs. Knight and Katie had left for an audition in Las Vegas the day before, and James and Carlos had been talking about an all-day double date all week, so Logan and Kendall had the apartment to themselves for a while.

"So, Kendall…" Logan began. Kendall turned to him. "…What do you wanna do today?"

Kendall started to say something, but stopped. He hadn't thought about what to do without James and Carlos, so he wasn't sure. At least in Minnesota, there was always something to do, even if it was just working. Since they came to LA, all there was to do was record and sleep. "Well…we could always go ice skating. We haven't gotten a chance to since we got here."

Logan agreed. Gustavo's schedule was tight, and days off like they had now were few and far between. The boys had promised they would find time for the things they did in Minnesota, but so far hadn't had the chance. "Alright, let's go."

* * *

Logan and Kendall had just left the ice skating rink. They had been there for almost 5 hours, and had a lot of fun. As they headed back to the Palm Woods, Kendall's phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Kendall, it's James."_

"Hey James, what's up?"

"_Carlos and I are gonna crash at the girls' place. You know, maybe—"_

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. See you guys later, I guess."

Kendall hung up and put the phone back in his pocket.

"What was that about?" Logan asked.

"James and Carlos are still on their double date, and it's been moved to the girls' place."

"But it's like nine o'clock. What the hell could they…" Logan trailed off as Kendall gave him a "duh" look. "Oh…" Realization spread across Logan's face.

"Oh, Logie," Kendall said teasingly. "Oh, innocent, naïve Logie."

"Oh, shut up," Logan said, lightly shoving him.

Kendall moved to push Logan back, but noticed they were back at the Palm Woods. He and Logan shared a look. "Race you to the apartment!" they yelled together before racing to 2J.

They plopped down on the couch, out of breath. The race had ended in a tie, and now the two boys had two options: sleep or find something else to do. Since neither one of them wanted to sleep just yet, they decided to watch TV. They opted for a recorded hockey game. They sat on opposite ends of the large couch, although both of them wanted nothing better than to sit next to each other. After a few minutes, Logan was fast asleep. Kendall was slowly finding himself getting more and more tired. He shut off the TV and let himself be brought to sleep by Logan's light snoring.

* * *

Kendall woke up first the next morning. He stood up and stretched, his muscles tense from the uncomfortable couch. He sat back down and watched Logan while he slept. He felt slightly like a stalker, but he didn't care. Logan looked peaceful while he slept. Kendall let his eyes travel down Logan's body, stopping when he noticed a bulge in Logan's jeans. _Someone's having a good dream_, he thought, chuckling quietly. He wondered what Logan was dreaming about. Almost as if on cue, Logan started to moan.

"Kendall…"

Kendall froze. Did Logan just _moan_ his name? While apparently having a sex dream? Kendall knew then that Logan was dreaming about him. He felt his heart starting to race. This almost proved that Logan felt the same way he did.

_Almost_.

Logan stirred, and Kendall moved his eyes back to Logan's face. Logan awoke, realizing almost immediately that he was on the couch and not his bed. It definitely wasn't comfortable. He turned his head to look at Kendall looking at him. He blushed slightly, but didn't break his gaze.

"Sleep well?" Kendall asked, chuckling slightly.

"What's so funny?" Logan asked, confusion evident in his face and voice. Kendall answered by pointing to Logan's jeans, at which point he became fully aware of his erection. His blush deepened, which only made Kendall laugh a little harder.

"So, what were you dreaming about, Logan?"

Logan's face suddenly became fully red. "N-n-nothing…" he stuttered.

Kendall gave him a look that said he didn't believe the answer. "Really?" Logan nodded. "Well, _something_ had to have done that," he said, once again pointing out the bulge in Logan's jeans.

Logan blushed deeper, if that was possible. "Well, I…I, um—"

Kendall cut him off. "Logan, you moaned a name in your sleep."

Logan panicked. _Busted_, he thought. He decided to play dumb. "Whose name?"

Kendall chuckled and moved closer to his friend. He leaned in close, as if telling a secret, his mouth hovering over Logan's ear. "Mine."

Logan shuddered and, before he could process what he was doing, turned around and crashed his lips to Kendall's. He was shocked when the kiss was returned almost instantly. Soon they pulled apart, and just looked at each other.

Logan spoke up first. "Kendall," he started. He was nervous. "I…I really like you. Like, really, _really_ like you.

Kendall smiled. "I really. _Really. _Like you too."

Their "moment" was interrupted when James and Carlos walked through the door, too loudly for 9:00 in the morning.

"We're hoooooooooooome!" Carlos yelled.

"And we have breakfast," James said much more calmly.

Logan and Kendall shared a look before running to the table, their earlier exchange putting wide grins on their faces.

**A/N: Wow. This has to be the longest thing I've ever written. Hope you liked it. You know what to do. Please review. I'd appreciate it.**


	3. Too Happy for Words

**Okay, so last chapter, I meant to add that Logan and Kendall only have crushes. This is where it gets deeper (and where the song that inspired this comes in).**

_**Chapter 3: Too Happy for Words**_

**July 23, 2010**

Logan and Kendall walked hand in hand from the restaurant. Their first real date in the month they had been together was amazing. They had been fighting in the past few days over small things. Slip of the tongue here, being rude there. But tonight that came second to the fancy candlelit dinner Kendall had set up for them. As they walked through, they made a stop at a nearby park. It was dense with trees, and secluded to the point where they could talk without running the risk of people hearing them. Private talks made up most of their time alone. They appreciated the talks, because they loved hearing each other's voices. They mostly talked about what had happened when they were in two different places, which, for them, happened all too often.

"So, wait. James did _what_?" Kendall asked laughingly.

"He screamed at the saleslady for not knowing where his precious hairspray was. He ended up cussing her out over it when he was standing right in front of it."

"Oh my god. That must've been embarrassing for him."

"Oh, trust me. It was. As soon as he paid for his stuff they called security. He's not allowed back in that mall for a month. He's got enough hairspray for about a week and a half."

"Oh, so he bought the big can this time."

"Yup. So what happened with you today?"

"Not much. Just hung out at the pool all day."

"Really? That's so…_boring_."

Logan and Kendall both were laughing at this point. They hadn't realized they'd stopped walking.

"Maybe we should go sit down," Kendall suggested.

"Yeah, maybe stargaze a little."

The two found a clearing and lay down in the grass, Logan nuzzling his head into Kendall's chest. Kendall absentmindedly started running a hand through his boyfriend's hair. They stayed like this for a while, looking at the stars and enjoying each other as much as possible.

"Kendall?"

"Yeah, Logie?"

"I…I love you."

Kendall froze. Did he just hear what he thought he heard?

Logan sighed and started to sit up, thinking he had said it too soon. Kendall quickly wrapped his arms around Logan's waist, keeping him from moving any further.

"I…I love you too."

Logan froze for a moment, then turned to his boyfriend. "Re—really?"

"Yeah, Logie."

Logan smiled widely before leaning down and kissing Kendall with as much passion as he could. Kendall returned the kiss instantly, and soon they were in a heated tongue war. Kendall mapped out as much of Logan's mouth as he could, memorizing the spots that pleasured Logan most.

The boys soon found themselves clawing at each other's shirts, desperate for more. Their desperation rose as Kendall's phone rang.

"Ugh," they groaned. Kendall pulled out his phone, looked at the display quickly, then answered.

"Hey, James."

"_Where the hell are you guys? It's almost midnight and Carlos won't let me sleep until you get back here, so…GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!"_ James yelled the last part loud enough for Logan to hear. He grabbed the phone from Kendall.

"Sorry, James. We're on our way back now."

"_You sure as hell better be."_

Logan hung up and quickly pulled himself and Kendall to their feet. Kendall sighed, but reluctantly followed his boyfriend back to the apartment.

* * *

When the two boys reached the apartment, they were met with a pacing Carlos and a half-asleep James.

"There you guys are!" Carlos said, relieved, but slightly annoyed.

"Thank god!" James practically screamed. He walked to his room, slamming the door behind him. After a few moments, loud snoring came from the room. The three boys laughed.

"So, how was your date?" Carlos asked, teasing in his voice despite his sincerity.

"It was nice. Kendall took me to this really fancy—"

"—and expensive—"

"—restaurant, then we went stargazing." Logan turned to Kendall. "And I thought the cost wasn't a big deal."

"It's not, Logie. I was bragging because I can actually afford it, unlike Mr. Eats-his-way-through-his-wallet over here."

Carlos was obviously offended, but couldn't help laughing, the other two joining in.

"Okay, this was fun, but I'm going to bed. Night you two. Oh, and if I hear anything that sounds at _all_ like sex, I will kill you," Carlos said sleepily, the last part a half-hearted threat.

"Carlos, we're not—"

"Just making sure." Carlos walked to his room, careful not to wake his sleeping roommate. Kendall and Logan shared a look, then walked to their room. Even if the warning was pointless, they still listened, sleeping in their own beds, fully clothed, not making a sound.

* * *

The next morning, Kendall awoke early. He snuck out of bed and into the bathroom. He opened the medicine cabinet and pulled away the false back of the top shelf. He grabbed the needle and one of the jars resting there. He quickly filled the needle, stabbed his arm, and sent the drugs through his body. Carefully, he replaced his "tools" and the false back. He moved back into his room and crawled into bed, making sure not to disturb his sleeping boyfriend on the other side of the room.

**Yes. Kendall did drugs. I warned you. No worries, he isn't just using needles. There's a whole lot of crap in the next chapter…Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to research about 20 different types of drugs. Review while I do that, okay?**


	4. End of it All

_**Chapter 4: End of it All**_

**September 6, 2010**

Logan awoke to a sound coming from the bathroom. He looked over, and noticed that his boyfriend wasn't in bed. He got up and walked to the door. He peered inside to find Kendall kneeling down and picking up what looked like pills. Logan hoped that Kendall had just knocked them over reaching for something else, but when he grabbed a couple and downed them, Logan knew it was worse. Much worse.

He quickly scanned the bathroom, hoping he was wrong about Kendall. His eyes fell on the cabinet, and the wood panel in the back of the top shelf slightly displaced. He felt himself starting to shake, and it took all his willpower not to confront Kendall right away. He quickly went back to his bed and fell asleep. He'd talk to Kendall in the morning about it. Hopefully, there was nothing to worry about. Realistically, something was very, very wrong.

The next morning, Logan awoke and turned to Kendall's bed. Kendall surprisingly wasn't in it. Logan scratched his head and walked to the kitchen. They had another day off, so he didn't bother to shower or change. James and Carlos were at the counter eating cereal.

"Hey guys, have you seen Kendall?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, he left about 10 minutes ago."

"Where'd he go?"

James and Carlos shrugged. Logan let out an annoyed sigh and walked out of 2J, still in his pajamas. He went down to the lobby and asked around, but nobody had seen Kendall. He eventually gave up and walked back to 2J. He decided he'd shower and wait for Kendall.

After he was dressed, he walked back to his room to find that Kendall still hadn't returned. Logan almost pulled out his phone and called him, but decided against it. He trusted Kendall, but he was still worried. He wondered what was going on, but Kendall obviously wasn't going to tell him. He needed answers.

* * *

While Logan was deciding between confronting Kendall and spying on him, Kendall was deciding between the beer and the cigarette Guitar Dude was offering him. He, Guitar Dude, and a few other people from the Palm Woods (mainly Guitar Dude's junkie friends) were having a very wide assortment of drugs, and Kendall definitely needed the highs. He grabbed the beer and chugged it, setting down the bottle as neatly as he could while being incredibly drunk. He then grabbed the cigarette, clueless as to what was inside, lit it, then took a long drag. He blew out a puff of smoke and laughed as it traveled directly to someone's face, causing a loud coughing fit. Kendall took another drag, then passed the cigarette on, wanting everyone to enjoy its "magic".

Kendall returned to the apartment at around 4 am. He had opened the door quietly, but closed it loudly. Luckily, everyone in the house was a heavy sleeper. Unluckily, not everyone was asleep.

Logan turned from where he was on the couch to look at the door. He saw Kendall struggling to stand and ran to his side. At first, he thought (and hoped) that Kendall was too tired to support himself, but quickly discovered that wasn't true.

"Hey Logieee," Kendall said, the alcohol on his breath invading Logan's nose. "How ya been?" Kendall laughed lightly.

"Kendall? What the hell is wrong with you? You're fucking _drunk_ and you're asking me how I am? You should be a _lot_ more worried about how you'll be feeling in a few hours. I swear to god if I didn't know you'll have a hangover in the morning I'd fucking _kill_ you."

Kendall simply smiled at him. "You…you're funny." He swayed back and forth, chanting "Funny, funny, funny…" until he was brought back to reality by a hard slap in the chest. "Ow! Logie, that hurt!"

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kendall, let me ask you something. Where were you all day?"

Kendall laughed slightly. "I was with Guitar Dude."

That was enough for Logan to piece it together. "So you're telling me that you have been gone all day because you were getting _high_? Kendall, what the _hell_ is _wrong_ with you? Do you know what your mother will think when she finds out? And trust me, she _will_ find out."

Kendall looked at him seriously for a moment. "You…you're gonna forgive me though…right Logie?"

Logan looked at Kendall. "I don't know. I mean, you're _drunk_. You ditched me all day to go hang out with a _junkie_. Kendall, this is the first time I've wanted to knock some sense into you. You're my boyfriend and I love you, but this isn't something I can forgive right away."

Kendall couldn't take it. He hated Logan talking to him like this and he wanted it to stop. He brought his hand up and, before he could stop himself, struck Logan across his face.

Logan froze. He brought a hand up to where Kendall had hit him and touched it softly. It still stung.

Despite his drunken state, Kendall was still painfully aware of what he had done. "Logie…"

"Save it, Kendall. I don't want to hear it. There is _nothing_ you can say at this point. We're done." Logan was upset, and it showed. Tears were streaming down his face, and his hand still hovered over where he was hit. He looked away from Kendall. "We're done," he repeated. He turned and began walking to the couch. He placed a pillow and a blanket on it, then walked away.

Kendall sighed, knowing there was nothing he could do. He watched as Logan walked to their room and shut the door. He heard the faint click of the lock, and moved to the couch. It wasn't comfortable, but Kendall knew in the back of his mind that he deserved it.

* * *

The next morning, Kendall awoke with three problems. First, he was single and Logan was ready to kill him at any moment. Second, he woke up from the couch, which meant that his entire body was stiff as a board. Third, he was horribly hung over. He got up and stretched, then moved to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen bathroom to get some aspirin. He walked to his and Logan's bedroom, and was surprised to find the door was unlocked. He walked inside to find Logan awake and crying.

Logan looked up from where he was sitting when the door opened. When he saw Kendall walk in he was tempted to run to the bathroom and lock the door, but something told him to stay. "What do you want, Kendall?"

"Logan, I'm—"

"Don't you _dare_ say that you're sorry."

Kendall stopped talking.

Logan sighed. "Alright Kendall, you can be sorry. I still can't forgive you."

Kendall nodded. He knew that it would take time, but he was positive he could fix it. He quickly changed, then left Logan to himself.

Logan walked out a few minutes later, and was surprised to find that no one was in the living room except for Kendall. He walked to the couch and turned on the TV. Kendall knew that meant he didn't want to talk. He sighed, then grabbed an apple from the fridge. He ate on the counter, his eyes never leaving Logan. He knew he fucked up, and he knew he fucked up _bad_, but he knew he'd make up for it eventually, even if it killed him.

Logan, however, had a different mindset. He still loved Kendall, but what he did was unforgivable. It was dangerous. But most importantly, it was just plain _stupid_. Even if he _could_ find it in his heart to forgive Kendall (which he didn't see happening anytime soon), he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to trust him again, and that wouldn't be good for a friendship, let alone a relationship.

Both Logan and Kendall wanted to revive their relationship, but they both knew it would be hard. Kendall needed to get his act together and show Logan that he didn't need the drug parties. Logan needed to be able to trust Kendall.

**A/N: 4****th**** chapter done! I had originally planned on going into detail on everything Kendall did, but I don't know a lot about drugs, so...yeah. Just a little side note that you might want to know: Kendall isn't actually addicted to anything, he just likes getting high… (and I don't care if that's not how it works, my story needs it to be that way.)**


	5. Apology

_**Chapter 5: Apology**_

**October 17, 2010**

A month had passed since Logan broke up with Kendall. Since then, life had been less than perfect. When Kendall was in one place, Logan made sure to stay as far away as he could. During recording, he made sure either James or Carlos was in between them. The only time he couldn't avoid Kendall was during dance rehearsals, knowing that if he tried, it would end badly. It wasn't long before James and Carlos knew that they had to do something. They decided that James would talk to Kendall and Carlos would talk to Logan.

* * *

_James & Kendall_

James knocked on the door to Kendall's room. Kendall opened the door, hoping it was Logan finally talking to him. He was disappointed that it was James.

"Oh, it's just you. What do you want, James?"

"Damn, attitude. Can we talk?"

Kendall sighed. "Yeah, sure. Come in."

James walked in and plopped down on Logan's bed. Kendall closed the door and waited.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Logan."

Kendall turned around at the sound of his ex's name. "What about him?"

"You need to get him back."

"He hates me."

James looked at Kendall like he was crazy. "Kendall, are you really _that_ oblivious. Logan is in _love_ with you." The annoyance was obvious in his voice.

Kendall sighed. "Not after what I did, he isn't."

"Kendall, this is _Logan_ we're talking about. He forgives faster than my relationships end. And those end pretty fast."

Kendall laughed. He knew that James was serious when he dissed himself. "Yeah, but I doubt he'd take me back. I mean, I ditched you guys for a drug party. I ditched _Logan_ for a drug party. I came back at 4 am drunk. I hit Logan. Why the hell would he forgive me after that?"

James sighed. "Because, he's _Logan_, and he _loves_ you."

"Yeah, maybe. But—"

"No. Not 'maybe'. You need to build up some confidence, talk to Logan, and don't give up until you two are at least friends again. You're fucking up rehearsals and Gustavo is starting to notice."

Kendall sighed and nodded. He knew that Logan still wouldn't take him back, but he swore to himself that he'd fix it and repairing their friendship was fixed enough for him. "Yeah, James, you're right."

"Good. Now go get Logan back," he said, already pushing Kendall towards the door.

Kendall stopped him. "Okay, first, I can walk. And second, I can't just go talk to Logan right now. Logan may be forgiving, but he isn't dumb. He'll try and get out of talking as soon as I apologize for the millionth time. He needs to be just as willing to talk to me as I am to talk to him."

"He is," came a familiar voice.

* * *

_Carlos & Logan_

It took Carlos a good five minutes to convince Logan to talk to him. He almost had to drag Logan to his room, but eventually Logan gave in. They walked into the room James and Carlos shared and sat down on James' bed. They sat in an awkward silence for a minute or two, Carlos not knowing how to start and Logan not knowing what the hell was going on.

Finally, Carlos found the words he was looking for. "You need to stop avoiding Kendall." Logan opened his mouth to argue, but Carlos immediately cut him off. "If you deny it, I swear to god I will rip your fucking balls off and sell them on eBay. **[1]**

Logan sighed and looked away from Carlos. "I don't know if I can. I mean, he lied to me. He went to a fucking _drug party_, came home _drunk_, then _slapped_ me in the face. Do you _honestly_ think I can just forgive him after that?"

"You've forgiven other people for worse," Carlos said sadly.

Logan simply sighed and nodded. He was always the type to forgive easily, so it did seem strange that he was so hesitant to forgive Kendall.

Carlos apparently had the same thought. "You must hate him."

"What? No, Carlos. I could never _hate_ Kendall."

"Why not? I mean, he did all those things to you." Carlos tried his hardest to fake curiosity, knowing he had caught Logan. It seemed to work.

Logan sighed. "Well, he's one of my best friends and I…I…"

"Love him?" Carlos guessed.

Logan was silent. Carlos assumed he was in thought. They sat in silence for a while, and Carlos was startled when Logan sighed.

"Yeah…I do," Logan said. He tried to sound confident, but his voice shook violently, threatening to give away just how confused he was about this.

"Well," Carlos pointed at the door, "go get him."

Logan nodded and stood up. He walked through the hall to his and Kendall's room just in time to catch the end of James and Kendall's conversation.

"…I can't just go talk to Logan right now. Logan may be forgiving, but he isn't dumb. He'll try and get out of talking as soon as I apologize for the millionth time. He needs to be just as willing to talk to me as I am to talk to him."

"He is," Logan said confidently, although he was more nervous than he had ever been in his life.

* * *

Kendall turned to the doorway to find Logan standing there, standing confidently. His confidence was betrayed by his eyes, however. They shifted around the room, and made him look panicky. James took this as his cue to leave, and he quickly walked to the door, Logan walking further inside to give him room. He took this as an opportunity to close the door behind him, leaving Logan and Kendall alone.

There was an awkward silence. Neither boy knew what to say, and neither one knew who should start. Kendall cleared throat, signaling that he wanted to speak first.

"Logan, I am _so_ sorry for what I did, and I don't blame you if you hate me and never want to speak to me again."

Logan chuckled slightly. "And I'm sorry for making you think that I hate you and never wanted to speak to you again. I could never hate you, and it'd be impossible to not talk to you seeing as we share a room and work so close to each other."

Kendall sighed in relief. "That's good to hear." His face fell. "But that still doesn't mean that you forgive me."

Logan sighed. "Maybe not, but I do forgive you. Kendall, I was stupid to try and avoid you. I just thought that maybe, if I stopped talking to you and didn't see you too often that I could forget about what happened and maybe…maybe we could be friends again."

Kendall's face lit up. "You're forgiving me?" Logan nodded. "And you still want to be my friend?" Another nod. "And…" Kendall's face fell, suddenly noticing the double edge in the words.

Logan knew exactly what Kendall was thinking and walked up to the taller boy. He placed a hand on his shoulder and looked directly into his eyes. "Maybe."

Kendall smiled, both in happiness that their friendship was repaired and in hope that their relationship would be as well. Logan smiled back, almost as if reassuring him that there was hope.

* * *

Kendall was never one to get his hopes up. Too many times he had, only to have them crushed. His many apologies to Logan had been no exception, him being optimistic that Logan would forgive him, only to fall back into a depression when Logan shot him down, or worse, completely ignored him. However, after Logan had finally forgiven him, he found himself highly optimistic that Logan would give them another shot.

Logan was always the forgiving one. He never held a grudge, and never made someone apologize more than once before saying it was okay. Kendall's mistakes changed that. He found himself unable to forgive Kendall. He realized he was afraid that Kendall wouldn't change, like so many other people in his life who messed up repeatedly. However, when he saw just how much Kendall _had_ changed, and how much Kendall needed his forgiveness, _and _how much he himself needed to forgive Kendall, he found himself returning to his old ways. He was still cautious about Kendall, which was why he didn't give his and Kendall's relationship another shot right away, but he knew that forgiveness was necessary if he wanted his life to be back to where it was before, when everything was going well for him.

* * *

Logan and Kendall both wanted to tell James and Carlos they were friends again, but suspected that they already knew. Their suspicions were confirmed when they opened the door and Carlos fell to the floor, James catching himself in the frame. Logan and Kendall laughed before helping Carlos up. The four didn't need to say a word before they were in a group hug, which they all knew meant everything was okay in the world of Big Time Rush. More importantly, they all knew that nothing, no matter how big, could ever tear them apart for very long.

**A/N: [1] That's a threat my sister always uses. She's a lot like Carlos in that they both joke around a lot, so I figured Carlos would be the perfect person to use it.**


	6. Starting Over

_**Chapter 6: Starting Over**_

**October 24, 2010**

It had been a week since Logan finally apologized to Kendall. Logan was still avoiding Kendall at the Palm Woods, but assured his friends it was only so he could think. To enforce that, he always made a point of being next to Kendall during recording. Eventually, Logan was able to clear his head enough to see what he wanted. He knew that James and Carlos would want to hear how all of this would turn out, but he knew that Kendall had to hear it first and by himself. The perfect opportunity presented itself after a recording mishap.

"Dogs!" Gustavo screamed. As much as the boys were used to their boss yelling at them like this, they still flinched whenever he did. "Your recording for Stuck is messed up. James and Carlos," he turned to the two boys on his right, "you need to re-record the first verse. NOW!"

James and Carlos all but ran to the booth, Gustavo trailing slightly. He turned to Logan and Kendall. "The boys will be a while. Head home and relax. I need you dogs as awake as possible tomorrow morning."

Logan nodded before dragging Kendall to the limo. After they got in, Kendall glared at Logan.

"What?" the shorter boy asked, slightly confused as to why Kendall would be mad.

"What is it with you guys and thinking you need to help me get places? I have feet. I can walk."

Logan chuckled. "Oh, you know you love it."

It was obvious Logan was teasing, so Kendall threw a pillow at him. "Oh, shut up."

Logan and Kendall laughed the entire limo ride, and were almost out of breath when they arrived at the Palm Woods. They slowly dragged themselves to 2J, then all but fell onto the couch, catching their breaths. When they had, they sat up. They looked at each other for a moment before starting to laugh again. Kendall was the first to calm down. He cleared his throat to indicate that he wanted to say something. Logan quickly regained his composure then nodded, signaling to Kendall to continue.

"So, did you make your decision yet?" he said, nothing but seriousness on his face.

Logan faltered. He didn't expect Kendall to ask, since he had made a point of not asking until now. After a moment, he nodded.

"And?" Kendall asked.

Logan looked up at Kendall and saw that he was hoping for the best. He sighed. "Kendall…"

"Aw, Logan…"

"Let me finish, Kendall," he said, half laughing, half serious. Kendall made a zipping motion over his mouth, and Logan couldn't help but laugh. "Alright, so I thought about it, and I realized…I…I can't stand not being with you. I…I _need_ to be with you."

Kendall smiled widely before launching himself at Logan. He crashed their lips together, and his smile grew impossibly wider when Logan returned the kiss almost immediately. His smile faded when Logan suddenly pulled away. "What…what was that for, Logie?" he asked, sadness overflowing in his voice.

"I'm giving you another chance, but I need you to be _completely_ honest with me. As in, no more drug parties," Kendall nodded, "no ditching me," another nod, "and what the hell are you hiding in our medicine cabinet?"

Kendall was shocked. "You…you knew about that?"

"Yeah, Kendall. I saw it the day before I broke up with you. What's in there?"

Kendall sighed. "Heroin," he replied, looking at his feet instead of Logan.

"Kendall, you can look at me." He looked up. "Look, I'm not mad…well, I'm not going to make a big deal about it. Just…"

"I'll get rid of it."

Logan smiled. Although he wouldn't admit it, he loved when Kendall knew exactly what he was thinking. "Thanks, Kendall."

"Anything for my _boyfriend_," Kendall said, smiling at the word.

Logan laughed. Kendall stood up and walked to his and Logan's bedroom. Logan stayed on the couch, but jumped up and ran to the bathroom attached to his room when he heard the sound of glass shattering. He smiled at the sight of the top cabinet, the false bottom removed and all its contents broken and in the trash. Kendall turned back and smiled at Logan before pulling the brunette to him and wrapping his arms around his waist. Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. Kendall started to deepen the kiss, but was abruptly cut off by the front door slamming loudly.

"We're hooooooooome!" Carlos screamed loudly.

Logan and Kendall remembered the morning they had confessed their feelings to each other four months ago. Their first kiss had been interrupted in the same way, and they laughed at the irony. They walked to the living room to find James and Carlos watching TV. They plopped down on the couch next to their friends, Logan keeping a small distance between him and Kendall.

As soon as the two sat down, James turned off the TV and turned to them, Carlos doing the same. "So, how was your guys' day?" James asked, smirking.

Logan and Kendall looked at each other, then turned back to their friend. "Fine," they said together.

"What happened? Did you two make up? Did you two finally get back together? Did you—"

"Carlos!" the other three boys yelled, causing Carlos to snap his mouth shut.

James looked at them. "Well?"

Logan spoke up. "You guys already know I forgave Kendall last week."

"Yeah, but you said you'd have to think about your relationship," James replied, trying to see if Logan made the right decision.

"Yes, James, I did. And I thought about it, and I decided to tell Kendall what my decision was." Logan smiled when James groaned and banged his head against the back of the couch.

"Enough with the suspense already! Did you get back together or not?"

Logan smiled, and Kendall tried his hardest to remain expressionless. They were both enjoying James and Carlos' clear annoyance. "I don't know," Logan said, chuckling slightly as Carlos mimicked what James had done a minute ago. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I really can't say for sure, though…"

James and Carlos had had enough. "OH MY GOD, WOULD YOU JUST FUCKING TELL US ALREADY!"

Logan laughed. "Alright, fine," he said, standing as he did so. "Kendall and I are back together."

James and Carlos jumped up and captured the two in a group hug. The four laughed and sat back down on the couch, Logan smiling before snuggling into Kendall's side. James turned the TV on again, and the four sat in silence, Logan and Kendall focusing more on each other than on the TV.


	7. From the Heart

**A/N: Okay, I know you guys want more of my amazing story, but this is more of a filler chapter. The next one sort of is too, but it adds a bit to the story. This is more of a build up to the next one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.**

_**Chapter 7: From the Heart**_

**December 25, 2010 **_(Haha, you guys know where this is going, huh?)_

Logan awoke rather abruptly to the sudden motion of his bed. He kept his eyes shut and blindly swatted a pillow, eventually hitting his unknown mark. There was a yelp and Logan immediately opened his eyes and sat up in his bed. "Oh my god, Carlos are you okay?" he asked, worry in his voice.

Carlos bounced up, and the motion was enough to make Logan jump up, startled. "Yeah, I'm fine." He patted his helmet. "That's what this baby's for."

Logan laughed, then abruptly was serious. "What the hell were you doing?" he asked sharply.

Carlos tried to hold back his excitement, but failed. "It's Christmas!"

Logan glanced at the clock. "Carlos, it's five in the morning. Christmas doesn't start until at least ten."

"Maybe not for you, but to everyone else it started twenty minutes ago with Mama Knight's yummy breakfast." Carlos smiled.

"Ugh, Carlos, it starts at five in the morning for you and _only_ you. Right, Kendall?" Logan turned to his boyfriend's bed, only to find that it was empty. "What the hell?"

"I told you so," Carlos sang, sticking his tongue out.

Logan got out of bed and playfully punched Carlos' arm. "Alright, fine. I'm up. Let's get this over with so I can go back to sleep."

Carlos smiled and dragged Logan to the living room. The two boys sat down in between James and Kendall, Logan immediately leaning into his boyfriend and yawning. Carlos turned to him. "If you fall asleep, I will burn your presents."

Logan brought his head up from Kendall's shoulder and smiled at Carlos. He nodded, and Carlos immediately dived into the pile of presents, throwing any that weren't his to random corners of the room. Halfway through the pile, the others pulled him out. Carlos pouted. "But I wanted my presents."

The group laughed. "Be patient, Carlos," Ms. Knight said.

Carlos sat back down and crossed his arms over his chest, still pouting. Everyone laughed, and Ms. Knight retrieved all of the presents Carlos had thrown. After she had, the boys and Katie tore into the pile, grabbing what was theirs and tossing what wasn't back into the pile. It took everyone a good ten minutes to get all of their presents, and a good five to tear through them. After the presents had been opened, everyone sat and talked for a while. Eventually, Carlos grabbed all of his presents and ran into his room, wanting to use all of them as soon as possible. James followed, wanting to make sure that Carlos didn't break anything (such as the apartment), and Ms. Knight and Katie walked back into their room, stating that they needed a few more hours of sleep. Kendall and Logan stood up, and Logan was about to walk to his room when Kendall called him back.

"Logan, wait. There's some more stuff for you."

Logan turned back around curiously. He thought he had found all of his presents, but he obviously missed one. He walked back to Kendall, who was holding two small boxes. He was immediately suspicious. "Kendall…" he started.

"Shh, stop talking and open," Kendall said, handing one of the boxes to Logan.

Logan's eyes never left Kendall's face as he carefully tore the wrapping paper off of the box. He opened it, and looked at what was inside, gasping. "Kendall…"

"Do you like it?" Kendall asked.

Logan pulled the necklace out of the box, studying it as he did. It was a thin silver chain that held a small "L". He smiled. "I love it," he said.

Kendall smiled back. "Good. Now open your other present."

Logan took the other box. It was a lot smaller, and felt very light. Logan opened it curiously, and laughed when he saw what was inside. "Seriously, Kendall?" he asked, pulling out the object.

Kendall smiled and walked closer to Logan, taking the gift. "Yes, seriously." Logan smiled and scoffed. "Oh, come on, you know you love it."

Logan laughed again. "You got me _mistletoe_."

Kendall smiled and held the plant above their heads. "Yes, I did. Now kiss me before I report you to the Christmas police."

Logan chuckled. "We wouldn't want that," he said, pulling Kendall into a kiss. They stayed like that for a while, Logan's arms wrapped around Kendall's neck, Kendall wrapping one arm around Logan's waist and holding the mistletoe with the other.

"Oh, get a room," someone said.

Logan and Kendall pulled away, blushing slightly at seeing James standing next to them.

Logan yawned. "Yeah, you know, I am pretty tired. I think I'll just go back to bed. See you guys later." He walked back to his room and closed the door behind him.

Kendall turned to James. "You ruined my moment with my boyfriend."

James laughed. "Oh, boo hoo. You two share a room. I'm sure there will be _plenty_ of moments for you two. So calm down and _please_ keep it quiet. We wouldn't want to ruin Katie's virgin ears."

Kendall blushed. "James, you know Logan and I aren't having sex."

"Yeah, I know. That doesn't mean that it won't ever happen. And we all know how loud Logan gets." The two looked to the door, and laughed when they heard Logan fall from his bed. "See, proof the walls are thin."

Logan walked out of his room, blushing wildly. "Am I really _that_ loud?" he asked, embarrassment filling his voice and face. James whistled and looked around the room, and Kendall looked at his boyfriend sheepishly. Logan's eyes widened. "Oh god," he said.

Kendall laughed. "No worries buddy. It's not like you're the only one in this house who does anything."

James scoffed. "I don't."

Kendall laughed. "Yeah, that explains the lube in your drawer and your constant moaning when you think the TV can drown you out. Again, we have thin walls."

James blushed, then suddenly an evil grin spread across his face. "How would _you_ know about the lube, Kendall?"

Kendall blushed. "Well, I…I, uh…" he stuttered.

Logan laughed. "Okay, okay, so all of us do it. Do we _really_ have to talk about it?"

James and Kendall both shook their heads, grateful that the conversation was over. They quickly rushed back to their beds, hoping that another conversation like that didn't come up again in their lives. _Ever_.

* * *

Later that morning, the four boys awoke to find that Ms. Knight and Katie had gotten a callback for the audition in Vegas, and would be gone until after New Years. That meant they had the apartment to themselves. That could only mean one thing: they could do whatever they wanted.

**A/N: See, more of a filler chapter. It leads into the next chapter, and I bet some of you can guess where it's gonna lead. Reviews are appreciated.**


	8. Worth It

**A/N: I know what you're thinking: "Why wasn't there an update on Friday?" I'm sorry, but I was really busy this weekend, and I figured that since I said the last chapter would be published on Valentine's Day, and I cut out a chapter... Anyway, here's the final chapter.**

_**Chapter 8: Worth It**_

**February 14, 2011**

Logan snapped out of his reverie. His relationship with Kendall was a rocky one, but somehow they managed to get through it. Their breakup was only temporary, but it left a strain on their relationship for a while, and it left Logan with nightmares every so often. They scared him because the last thing he wanted was to go through it again.

Logan sighed, and brought his hand to his heart, feeling the _L_ charm of his necklace. He smiled slightly, realizing just how much he didn't want to go through the pain of breaking up with Kendall again. He _loved_ Kendall.

He jumped slightly when he heard a door shut silently. He looked at the clock in the kitchen. 6:14 am. _Who would be up this early,_ he thought. He turned around to find Kendall in an exaggerated sneaking position. He laughed. "Really, Kendall? _Really_?"

Kendall stood up straight and walked to the couch behind Logan, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Oh, come on. You know you love me," he said before planting a kiss on Logan's cheek.

Logan chuckled. "Yes, yes I do."

Kendall grinned. "Alright. Get up and get ready. I'm taking you out."

Logan sighed. "But this couch is just _soooooo_ comfy. I don't wanna get up," he whined, the smirk on his face clashing with the tone of his voice.

Kendall laughed. "I baby you too much."

Logan grinned. "Oh, come on. You know you love me," he said, playfully poking Kendall's chest.

Kendall laughed and picked Logan up bridal style, carrying him to the bathroom. "Alright, now take a shower." Kendall smirked. "Or do I have to help you with _that_, too?"

Logan blushed. "No, no, no, I got it. Bye, Kendall," he said, closing the door.

Kendall chuckled and sat down on the couch, watching TV while waiting for Logan to finish getting ready.

* * *

By the time Logan was dressed, it was almost 8 o'clock. Kendall laughed to himself at the time it took for his boyfriend to get ready. "Logan, you _do_ realize that you spent almost 2 hours getting ready, right?" Logan nodded. "That beats even James' longest time. What took you so long?"

Logan blushed. "I wanted to look perfect."

Kendall looked at him incredulously. "Logan, you already look perfect. Stop obsessing over it. I'm dating you, _not_ James."

Logan laughed as Kendall grabbed his hand and all but dragged him out of the apartment and into the car.

* * *

They had been driving around for an hour, Logan falling in and out of sleep. Eventually, the car came to a stop in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere. Logan sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked out, taking in the scene around him. It looked like a desert. They were surrounded by sand and rocks, and Logan could see a cliff in the distance. _Why does this place seem so familiar_, he thought.

"Logan?" The smart boy turned to his boyfriend. "Do you know where we are?"

Logan thought for a moment, racking his brain for answers. _Okay, so we're surrounded by sand and there's a cliff in the distance._ Logan felt himself dozing off. He tried to fight it, but eventually his eyes closed.

* * *

_Logan saw two shadows sitting on the edge of a cliff, their legs dangling over the edge._

"_C'mon, it'll be fun," he heard a voice echo._

"_But I don't wanna." Logan's own voice echoed. The shadow over his own form lifted, but the other person was drenched in shadows._

"_Aw, come on Logie," the mysterious voice echoed._

_The shadows lifted completely, and Logan and Kendall were standing up, preparing themselves to jump. The water below was a sparkling blue, and about 50 feet below. Logan was obviously very scared. "I…I can't. Cliff jumping is very dangerous, and there's a 50% chance of physical harm that may or may not result in death."_

_Kendall sighed. "Fine, we won't do it."_

_Logan saw the hurt in Kendall's face. "Okay, okay. Maybe not today, but…maybe later?"_

_Kendall's face brightened. "Promise?"_

"_Promise."_

* * *

Logan felt his eyes reopen. "The cliff…" he turned to Kendall. "Why are we here."

Kendall pouted. "You promised."

"Yeah, but I thought _I'd _be the one to choose when."

Kendall put on his best puppy dog face, knowing how weak Logan was against them. "Pwease, Logie?"

Logan sighed. "Alright, alright, just, enough with the face."

Kendall grinned and jumped out of the car. Logan calmly followed his boyfriend to the cliff. _Interesting. We're jumping off the edge. _Again. _Only this time, it's literally._

The couple found themselves on top of the cliff. Like last time, Logan was scared. Unlike last time, he didn't show it. The two walked up to the edge, and looked down. They looked at each other, nodded, and grabbed each other's hand. Logan took a deep breath, and they jumped.

The rush from cliff jumping was nothing short of exhilarating. The couple ended up jumping off the cliff a few more times before deciding to just swim around. This wasn't easy, seeing as the two were in skinny jeans, so they eventually left the desert-like beach.

* * *

By the time they got back to the crowded streets of LA, the sun was starting to set. Logan found himself staring at the unfamiliar buildings, trying to figure out their next destination. Eventually they stopped in front of a fancy looking restaurant. Logan turned to his boyfriend. "Kendall, do you think we're dressed for this place? I mean, it seems like the place where you wear tuxedos, not wet skinny jeans."

Kendall laughed. "Don't worry, it'll be fine. I booked the entire place just for us. Nobody is going to see how casual your clothes are."

Logan crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, except the people working there."

Kendall sighed. "Fine. I have some clothes in the back seat. The blue bag is yours."

Logan turned and saw the blue and green bags sitting there. _How did I not notice those,_ he thought. He shrugged it off and grabbed his bag, rushing inside the restaurant to change. Kendall shook his head, amused at his boyfriend's perfectionist behavior. _That's my Logie_. He grabbed the other bag and went in after his boyfriend.

* * *

Logan finished changing first and sat at a table in the center of the giant dining room. All of the other tables had been cleared, and that left a large space around them. He couldn't help but feel lonely, seeing that he was the only person in a large, empty room. Soon, however, Kendall came and sat across from him, and his loneliness faded completely. A waiter came and handed them menus, and they quickly ordered, the waiter quickly leaving them to themselves.

Logan and Kendall spent most of the night staring at each other. When their food came, they ate mostly in silence, but neither one cared. As long as they were together, conversation was unimportant.

After their meal was finished, they stared at each other again. All they could see was love. In that moment, Logan knew that, no matter how much pain his relationship caused him, it was all worth it. Kendall knew that, too, and he was nervous for what was coming. "Logie, I love you."

"I love you too, Kendall."

Kendall smiled. He took a deep breath and stood up. Logan gave his boyfriend a questioning glance as the blonde walked over to him. They looked into each other's eyes again, Logan's brown eyes asking what was going on, Kendall's green eyes shaking slightly in nervousness.

Kendall reached into his back pocket. He pulled something out, but kept it hidden behind his back. "Logan Henry Mitchell," he said, voice shaking. **[1]** Kendall knelt down, and Logan gasped.

"Kendall…"

Kendall pulled the velvet box from behind his back. "I love you with all of my heart. I never, ever want to leave you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He opened the box. "Will you marry me?"

Logan's eyes never left Kendall's as he nodded. Kendall took the ring out of its box and placed it on Logan's finger. He stood up, Logan standing with him. They had stared into each other's eyes countless times that night, so instead they brought their lips together in a short, sweet kiss. As they pulled away, Logan smiled. "Logan Knight. I could get used to that."

Kendall smiled. "So could I."

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

Logan sat on the couch, fingers tracing the ring Kendall had given him. They had gotten married a month ago, and all of their friends had been very happy for them. They had waited until they were both eighteen, but it was well worth the wait. They had come out to the public soon after they were engaged, and definitely received a positive response. Today was interview day for Logan. The four boys had been asked to be interviewed on a new show as the first guests. Logan was nervous, since the boys would be interviewed separately.

"_Welcome to Voice of Fame, with your host, David James!"_ **[2]**

The audience cheered as David walked onstage. "Hello, and welcome to Voice of Fame. Tonight, we have with us the four boys of Big Time Rush." More applause came from the audience. "Alright, first onstage is the brains of the group, and my personal favorite, Logan!"

Logan took a deep breath and walked onstage. He waved at the screaming audience before taking a seat in one of the four chairs set up by the host's desk.

"Hello, Logan. Can I call you Logan, or should I call you Mr. Mitchell?"

Logan laughed. "Actually, it's Knight, not Mitchell. But you can call me Logan."

The host smiled. "Oh. DO I hear wedding bells for you and a certain blonde band mate of yours?"

The audience cheered, and Logan nodded, blushing slightly.

David smiled. "Well, congratulations on that! You two must have had a perfect relationship."

Logan shook his head. "Sadly, no. I don't think any relationship is perfect. I mean, Kendall and I fought a lot when we first started dating, and we were broken up for about a month in the beginning."

"Well, at least it worked out in the end, right?"

Logan nodded. "Yeah, it did. I mean, love hurts. Love will always hurt. But in the end, the pain is worth it."

* * *

**1: I just took the middle name off of Wikipedia. Didn't make it up.**

**2: Yes, the interviewer is based off of me. No, that's not my real name.**

**And, just a side note, the two major times in the story (4:25 and 6:14) are birthdays. It's kinda lame, but that's my birthday and my crush's birthday. Just thought I'd put that out there.**

**A/N: And that's all I wrote. *sigh* I actually really liked this story. This chapter was definitely hard to write. What's worse: this was supposed to be the ninth chapter. I cut the original eighth chapter because it wasn't going where I wanted it to. And I also was tempted to write the epilogue in a different chapter, but decided not to. Anyway, reviews are appreciated. Oh, and if you haven't already, go check out Ghost of You. It's worth the read. Alright, until next time.**


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